If I can burn it, then I will burn it

Apparently not.

Hai gais.

I kinda realize that this is the first 'official' entry post on my dreamwidth or such, I should be posting some happy fluff or something, instead I bring ramble about my online friend Rin.

I'm also making this public. because I rly care and all and...shit...

Somehow... after three(four?) years of friendship on the internet I feel like we're drifting apart, in so many ways actually. I can't really point it out since my mind is really fuzzy about this. Yea, I kinda feared about this for quite some time now. It's not like I can help it though, we've also drifted apart fandom-wise. I can still remember the days when we would spend an entire day talking about nothing but gundam and pokemon and geass. Now... mmm I don't really know what she's into, and I kinda feel like I can no longer relate to her. I don't know how to explain it exactly, so just...there.

I remember the time when I haven't had contact for her for like an entire year, when her dad cut off the internet. It was amazing on my part that even after a year, we still manage to make contact and all, I guess when I finally got to talk to her, that was last christmas.

Then there's how I act around Rin nowadays.

Before, we'd pretty much have fun conversations on the internet but now... I just felt like whenever I talk to her, somehow I feel like I wasn't entertaining her, but rather bothering or pissing her off instead. Another funny thing is that well, despite myself being older than her, I act like an asshole and shit while she acted much more...mature than I thought she was.

Ok so she can be childish, but seriously, she can be serious at the right time, me? not so much, :\

In fact, given that my memory can finally straighten out, I can list out all the things where I have made a complete fool out of myself on the internet.

If you read this Rin, I'm not implying that we shouldn't be friends anymore, but I kinda feel like I've missed so much and that I really feel we've become so distant. If you feel like I've been bothering you and all and that there should be things about me that you don't want me to do , feel free to tell me about it in any way possible. I just wish I don't feel like an complete asshole when I talk to you nowadays ;A;

/sulks in a corner.

EDIT: I realize I do not have an emo/sad!Lu Xun icon /sulks in a corner some more